It's hard to keep up with.. But I guess it keeps me on my toes.
Life is a challenge.. I think I like it that way.. But then again it is a lot of work.
So its been awhile since Ive talked to Chad. That whole situation is weird. I finally realized that Im no longer in love with the guy that for so long I thought I would end up being with for.. well.. ever. There was a long period of time that I wasnt in love with him.. Instead I was in love with the way that things used to be.. In love with the familiarity. I dont always adjust well to change.
My life seems to be too entertwined with those around me. I rarely ever meet people that someone doesnt already know or already have a past with. I blame this on myself.. Its my fault that I dont get out there and do more things and meet new people.
I kinda want a second job. I dont do anything at night anyway aside from sitting online for hours while drinking beer alone. Sad huh? I could use the extra money.. And experience in a different work environment too.
Ive been thinking a lot lately.. Just about life.. Where Im going.. What my goals are.. Who I am. Its sad that I still dont know the answers. I was so sure that by 21 I would have figured myself out.. Now that Im 21 Im beginning to wonder if Ill ever figure myself out.